So I have this terrible habit. One that I really need to break. I pray and ask God for help with it because I tend to do it way more than I want to admit. Something that is easy to do online, with friends, and even people that we don’t know. That thing is. Comparing.
Ever since I was a child, I have always been an observer. I like to watch people (not in a creepy way lol), but just to experience how they acted when they didn’t think that anyone was looking. Even members of my family, I would constantly sit and watch how they interacted with each other and behaved. Unfortunately, due to my struggle with self esteem, it went quickly from observing to comparing. Even years later, I still find myself comparing myself to my friends, family, random people that I see, or those that I follow on social media. It’s amazing how quickly being an observer can turn into the comparison and contrast to what you see in others, or at least think you see.
Too often I tend to feel like I’m doing something wrong, like maybe if I would have done this differently, or that differently and I would be in a much better place. At this age, I should have a ton of money in the bank, my own apartment, a new car, a boyfriend, this, that, and so much more. Then one day it hit me, “Jazmine, you can’t continue to compare your journey that God has you on with someone else’s for many reasons” (this is for myself & for you).
There are many reasons for this:
1. You are in this place, in this moment, in this season, for a reason. You journey is special and unique because it’s supposed to be. Maybe it’s a time to learn, preparation, growth, and development. You could need to be continuing to seek God for direction and growth and learning. More about what you can change within yourself while also what you can change for others around you.
2. You have a lot of great things going for you that you probably aren’t even recognizing with and that many other people would be more than happy to have. I’m sure that there was once a time were you were wanting for the things you have now that you were asking God for. Plenty of people are BEGGING God for this season that you are in right now. The best word to describe this: Contentment. I went to a Trent Shelton show last month and he was telling about a recent trip that he took outside of the country. He was describing how poor the country was yet how happy everyone was and he couldn’t understand why. When asked, a little native told him that the happiness comes from the contentent of what they have, and how they make the best of what God has given them. He went on to say that a major problem with our country is that there is this constant need to want for more and try to rush to the next phase in our lives without appreciating the present. This couldn’t be more correct.
3. “Don’t compare your deleted scenes to someone’s highlight reel”. I almost hate social media sometimes for the sake of giving a false sense of reality and causing people to think that things are so much greater than they actually are. It’s important to keep things in perspective and to lean on God for reassurance, not the amount of likes under a picture or what all is pictured. That is a huge problem for many of us young people now. We look at all of our shortcoming and “bloopers” and directly compare to other people’s “highlights”. Be careful that you aren’t pulled into the hype of the “likes” “shares” and “views”. What matters is that you are being your most genuine version of yourself. You’d be amazed at how amazing you really are when you stop to take a look.
4. There is a time for EVERYTHING! Stop worrying, you are going to reach the goals that you have set for yourself as long as you continue to lean on God for direction. You will be financially stable. You will get your dream job. You will find the love of your life. And so much more. The only reason why you may not reach the goal is because God may have a much better option for you instead. His will is MUCH better than ours. As you continue to pull closer to Him, you will realize that your plans will align with His, giving your more peace about His timing.
5. The only person that you should be comparing yourself to is the person that you used to be, and looking to all of the progress that you had made. If you feel that you have let yourself go, let this be the opportunity to motivate you to becoming an even better person than you were before. Take the steps that you have been avoiding to really make positive changes in your life. Trust me, I have a couple of things that I need to change to make me even better than I am now.
You are amazing inside and out. God made each and every one of us in His image and even though we are very flawed because of sin in the world, we are still AMAZING and He loves us so much and has a special journey and path for our lives. We must continue to spend time with Him and ask Him to show us ourselves the way that HE sees us. Also to ask for contentment in our season. Trust me, at some point you will be able to help someone else overcome the same struggle that you had.
Though to this day, I still struggle with this, I’m going to breakout of it and see the greatness that lives within me, because God lives within me. And you should too! Keep on the path and if you don’t know the path, ask God to direct you. He’s got you! You’re amazing because YOU ARE YOU IN THIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE!
Be encouraged! Love and prayers!