Have you ever hear that saying, two halves don’t make a whole? Clearly mathematically speaking, two halves do make a whole. But in other terms, it doesn’t. Like in relationships. Two halves of a person, don’t make for a whole and healthy relationship.
To me, healthy relationships consist of two people that are comfortable and secure within themselves, choosing to come together to care and grow together. They want to really understand each other, because, for the most part they have an understanding of themselves. They have already put in the necessary time while they were alone to understand and overcome the obstacles that they experienced as singles, etc.
Almost a year ago, I was involved with someone but I was so very insecure within myself that I was completely miserable. Aside from the fact that we weren’t right for each other, I had really been carrying around many internal struggles that I didn’t want to accept. Issues with how I looked, how I felt about myself, how I was compared to other people, and past hurts that I had never really dealt with.
One day, after spending time with him, knowing that this wasn’t what I wanted, feeling completely lost and alone, and just mentally exhausted, I finally went to God and I said, “God, I need you to help me to deal with these things that are keeping me from fully loving myself, help me to deal with the things that I hate about myself, help me to see myself through your eyes. Lastly God, I’m tired of feeling insecure, please help me to find the security in You.”
Slowly but surely, he started to lead me away from certain music that I was listening to, shows I used to watch, people that I used to hang out with, and to break things off with my then, boyfriend. It was honestly quite the challenge because I knew that I would need to really lean on the Lord, which was new to me. He was taking me to a new place that I had never been before and I needed to completely trust in Him, also something that I had often struggled with. Let me just tell you, it was one of the best decisions that I could have ever made in my life. I learned so much about myself, about Him, about who I was in Him, and so much more. I’m still learning more and more each day.
I realized that I truly was beautiful. I was worth it. I was worth His best for me. I wasn’t a failure or a waste of time. The feeling of completeness was something that I had never really felt before. I could not get enough of the rest and peace that I found in Him. He showed me that in me, He painted such a masterpiece and it was my time to really learn to appreciate each and every component of myself.
Until you really learn to understand who you are in Him and have a genuine love for yourself, you won’t have a healthy relationship with anyone else. Take it from someone who knows. Continue to discover your self-worth. Learn your strengths and weaknesses. Things that trigger you. Things that make you smile. Bring you joy. I was someone who used to not ever want to be alone, because that meant that I had to face a lot of the things that I would spend so much time avoiding. STOP AVOIDING THEM! Ask God to help you deal with them. And overcome. You will come out better then you ever imagined! Your future partner will appreciate you all the more for it. Take that step!
Even a step further than that, spending time with God makes it easier for you to notice red flags about people that approach you so that you will know right then not to get “all deep” with them leading to a load of heartache. It also helps you to understand what you do want in a partner and to understand YOUR wealth as well!
A partner is supposed to compliment you, not complete you. God completes you!
Praying for you! ❤️