I was raised to be independent. To take care of myself. Use wisdom. Have a good head on my shoulders. I’m ALWAYS the one who wants to drive. Worked since I was 16. I knew that I wanted to be able to achieve things for myself. Just do it MYSELF!
What’s wrong with that ? Wanting to be able to “figure it out” on my own. Not needing anyone else to get me what I wanted.
It’s good to be independent in things, until you feel like you don’t need God to being it together for you………..all because you want to “figure it out”. Because you think that, “This struggle is too small for God” or “I got this”. When in reality you’ve analyzed yourself into a worry because you honestly don’t know how things will come together. Your chest becomes tight. Your mind spiraling. Your head hurting and you feeling extremely exhausted.
Welcome to my daily struggle. Welcome.
This past few weeks with work, I’ve taken a leap and asked God to show me me, show me how I’ve separated myself from Him.
His answer: “You rely too much on yourself and not on Me.” Yikes. That’s a tough pill to swallow.
It further showcases the pride that has existed in my life for as long as I can remember. The nerve that I have to act like I can “bring it all together on my own”. Without Him. As He hasn’t always come through for me before. I’ve developed a habit of worry about something, God bringing it together, and then moving on to find something else to worry about.
Self. Not Savior.
As I have to make daily and sometimes hourly reminders to myself that I have to trust God with EVERYTHING,I don’t have to figure it out on my own. I don’t have to feel like I’m going to fail because EYE don’t see the end result or the steps of how things will come to pass. But instead to throw up my hands, surrender, and lean on my Own and Only.
“Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it remains in the vine, neither can you, unless you remain in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who remains in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit. For without Me you can do nothing.”
John 15:4-5 MEV
As I walk along this journey with Him I ask you this:
What thing have you not trusted God with today? What are you worried about? Why don’t you trust & lean on Him as He so desires? Is anything too hard for God?
It’s not always easy to trust Him. We have gotten so used to feeling like we have to see the full picture before we can truly find rest, but I challenge you to ask The Lord to help you to let go of those things you can’t manage and let Him lead you. Guide you. Direct you. Turn worry into worship because in Him, it’s already done.
Love you all & be encouraged.
– J. ❤️