Marriage was my idol. Yea, that sounds SUPER DEEP!…………..but it’s true. I believed that once I got married, had a man who loved me, then I would be able to fully walk in my purpose.I would spend hours on social media looking at married couples’ pages, wedding pages, the list goes on. I wasn’t important unless I was married. And then…………….I was single. I broke up with my boyfriend. God told me to. It wasn’t good to me and there was no way that He would be able to mold me in the place that I was in. I had to be alone. I said,” God, if you want me to be single right now, I need friendships that will help me to walk in that along with getting closer to You.” He sent me Godly friendships, and because I am a visual person, it took me seeing someone else in my EXACT SAME SPACE and them being content to know that it was possible & honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Then, my dad left. My dad. I was rejected. Hurt. Furious.
You see a marriage that you just know is going to work and then it falls a part right before right before your very eyes. If it didn’t work for them, why would it work for me? Why?
It was in that time that I truly learned the seriousness and honestly the REALNESS of marriage. I had only managed to think of the wedding and wedding night……….can I just be real? And that was it. But marriage doesn’t stop there. It continues……….for the rest of your lives. I wasn’t ready for that. The submission. The understanding that though I am smart & level-headed, at the end of the day, my husband gets the last word. Period. I submit to him as He submits to Christ. He’s held responsible for the wellness of our family. HE is. If that’s the case, I’ll stay in my lane. Lol.
Marriage is a beautiful. Marriage is ugly. Marriage is fun. Marriage is a weight. Marriage is real. Marriage. Is. Work.
I have learned to appreciate being able to make my own schedule, not reporting really to anyone. The only person monitoring my budget. Being with friends for hours on end. Spending time with God for hours on end. The freedom. That comes with being single.
Each one, marriage & singleness, is a blessing. No one better than the other.
God has to prepare me. He has to position me. The last thing I want, is to be married and to not have appreciated my single season. Which in reality, is MUCH shorter than my married one will be. By. A. Long. Shot.
So, I know that marriage is great, but I think that in enjoying my single season, I’ll enjoy marriage that much more & don’t want to rush it. Because, I know it’s WORK! I love having married friends that keep it real with me as I am being prepared.
I thank God for His timing and my future husband.
Enjoy your season, for you will miss it when it’s gone.