I wanted to finally have something that would last. Though I have lived in the same city the majority of my life, I have moved locally more times than I can imagine. I have constantly had different father-figures, different roles, different friend groups, etc. Traditions weren’t truly something that I could fully lean on, though I know they tried. So much changed when all I wanted was something to just be consistent. That’s it. That’s why I used to constantly seek out relationships because I sincerely wanted something to just last. To last for longer than a season. Though, even our time on this Earth is just a season. Why, I’ve cling to my friendships so much because…..”finally, something that will last”.
I honestly have been really mad about it. Most of the inconsistencies weren’t even my decision. I never even had a say to begin with. No input, no choice. I would even go as far as feeling like I could finally plant and saying to God……”I know you have so much for you but I wonder how you’re going to do this with me here because this is where I’m going to stay…..” As if to put a limit on what He wants me to do seeing as how I committed to HIS Will and HIS Plan! Even as a write this, I’m shaking my head at myself.
How crazy, right?!
It honestly wasn’t until last week that it hit me. The only true constant that I can count on is Him. That’s it. LITERALLY everything else will fail me. Even those who love us the most. They will do it just out of the frailty of being human. Period. They can’t help it. We can’t help it. It’s in our nature and I have spent most of my life chasing the very thing that’s been chasing after me. God. Our Creator. Our Constant.
Once I was able to grasp this simple concept, I can take the pressure off of those around me, better grace them when they make a mistake or hurt me, and continue to remember that He is always with me no matter what.
What are the things you are you chasing trying to put into the place of God? Who are you putting the wrong pressure on?
It’s quite a discovery, yet such a freeing one and I am praying with you. God still loves you no matter what and unlike many of us, His love is not conditional. So ask Him to show you, to heal you, and to restore you.
Love you so.