Okay…..so listen. Fear shows itself in many different ways. Ways we recognize, and ways we don’t.
I have had the strongest fear of rejection for many years. It was so strong, it would show up in the most random times in a mask that was unrecognizable, until it was. From being overly eager in my romantic relationships to compromising some of my deepest values for others in my platonic ones. I had spent so much time trying to persuade others to love me, to see me, to just accept me. Out of it developed another fear. A fear that would then cause me to do just the opposite over time. I became this person who would never let others love me, because that would mean I had to be vulnerable, transparent, ugly, and so many other uncomfortable realities. In that same instance, I still felt that I would not be accepted. Rejected.
It’s not been until these past few months that I’ve grown tired of pushing people away. Those who truly just want to love me. Tired of trying to figure this out on my own. Tired of going around this same mountain. Tired.
I am making a vow from this moment on to be open to receive love. I am ready to receive the love that is meant from me….not just from a spouse, but from others. From whoever God is sending my way and also those He’s already sent. I am choosing to love unapologetically. To love without fear. The way that I look at it…..even if I’m rejected, it doesn’t change the fact that I loved in the first place. Especially considering that God’s love doesn’t change for us and we reject Him daily.
That’s that problem with conditional love. I’ve seen many shows where one person in a couple expresses their love for another, but if the other person doesn’t share the sentiment, they get upset as if to take back their initial feelings. Conditional.
Until you truly know and understand the UNCONDITIONAL love of God, you will always come up short if others don’t love you the way you feel you love them.
Ask God to help you to recognize His unconditional love in all things, because it’s there. You just have to be able to rest in it. Make a decision to throw away the fear and to move boldly in the direction He has for you. You got this. He’s with you each step of the way.
Be encouraged this week, talk to you soon.
Yours, but most importantly, His,